Sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to be

Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we want them to be
Sometimes the unforeseen could happen.
And when it happens, earlier plans sometimes need adjustments.
Some changes are inevitable.

I am supposed to make a deal with a sempai, buying his things upon his return to Malaysia. I haven’t been buying much household appliances and furniture since I arrived because most essentials are provided at the hostel – the room is equipped with a bed (with pillow and blankets – with almost weekly laundry service for the pillow cases, bed sheets and blanket covers), a study desk, a fridge, a closet with my own bathroom and toilet. I can watch television at the common room and there’s a common use kitchen, so there’s no need to buy any gas cooker. There’s a coin laundry which is quite cheap for Tokyo standard (150 yen for 4kg of load, 100 yen for 30 minutes dryer cycle). So, yes, initially there was no need for me to buy much household appliances and furniture.

Nevertheless since my family will be joining me to stay here insya Allah in March, I have to move out because the hostel only allows single occupancy. No one is supposed to stay overnight apart from the registered residents.

Finding a new apartment in itself was an adventure. At first I thought of just moving in the same apartment my sempai is staying once he moves out. However, I started having second thoughts when I heard that the person staying at the apartment below him could not tolerate noises and had been knocking on his neighbour’s door all the time because she thought the neighbour was too noisy. According to the neighbour though, it wasn’t like he was having wild parties all the time, the elderly obaasan downstairs could not even tolerate some music from the radio meant for one person’s entertainment. I could not imagine her tolerance for baby’s cries at night and I certainly do not want to be subject to being hit by a broom like a blogger had almost been subjected to, merely because the neighbour claimed that her footsteps were noisy.

Then I became further discouraged as I discovered how freezing cold the house could be during winter and there was no toilet bowl, merely squatting toilet with tiled floor which could make a winter morning trip to the toilet a horrendous experience. Not to mention that the fudo-san (real estate agent) was quite fussy. I’d only met her once, but even a quick deal with her was rather unpleasant compared to dealing with my current helpful and attentive fudo-san.

Searching for an apartment within my relatively low budget of 60,000 yen a month was no easy feat. I went to several real estate offices and on few occasions when I thought I had found suitable ones, I had always been told that the oya-san (house owner) preferred not to have foreign students as their tenants.

And then one day about a month ago, I found a suitable one – a mansion, not an apato, which charges suitable rent. (Apato refers to apartments built of wood or prefabricated. Mansion, on the other hand, refers to condominium made from brick, not a huge manor.) I liked it almost instantly – it was snowing and yet the house was not all that cold upon entry. I asked for a new air conditioner-cum-heater to be installed, as well as a water heater at the sink since I don’t want to do my dish washing with freezing cold water. The fudo-san told me the next day that yes, the oya-san had no objection to a foreign resident being his tenant and he also agreed to install a new air-cond as well as the hot water for the kitchen sink.

In Japan it’s customary to pay a lump sum of money before taking up residence. There’s the reikin (key money), the shikikin (deposit) and chukai tesuryo (real estate agent’s fee). It is common to pay un-refundable reikin equaling 1 or 2 months of rent, just as it is common to pay shikikin (refundable but often not refunded due to funding repairs of the premise once a tenant moves out) equaling 1 or 2 months rent. So yes, it could take a lot to pay upon entering a house. Considering it’s common for one to pay about 6 months worth of rent for fees, I guess I’m lucky having to only about 3 1/3 months worth of rent upon entrance - one month of reikin, one month of shikikin, one month rent on advance, no chukai tesuryo and 9 days rent as my tetsukekin (booking money).

But apparently luck does not follow me when it comes to buying household furnishes and appliances.

Like I said earlier, I was supposed to be buying a sempai’s old furniture and appliances – fridge, hot carpet, cabinet, sofa bed, study desk, etc. I asked around and people had given me estimate figures of all the things he offered to sell to be around 20,000 to 23,000 yen. He however wanted to sell for 30,000 yen. First we agreed to meet halfway at 25,000yen, but he increased it to 27,000 yen, saying the extra was for the bicycle. I was a bit reluctant, knowing that I was paying more than I was supposed to, but because I thought I could still afford it, I agreed to it.

I had wanted to move the things on this coming Friday, the 24th, but because I have a class scheduled to end at 4.10 p.m. that day, I won’t be able to sign the agreement with the oya-san that day. The oya-san have asked me to sign the agreement on Sunday, the 26th. Nevertheless since the sempai is due to attend a seminar elsewhere on Sunday, I tried to get the oya-san’s permission for me to move my sempai things to my new apartment on Saturday, despite not signing any agreement as yet then. After a few discussions mediated by the fudo-san over the phone, the oya-san finally agreed to let me store my things at the apartment even before signing any agreement.

I had made arrangements to rent a small lorry to be driven by Is, a helpful friend who is also very fluent in nihongo since he’s been staying here first as an undergraduate student and now as a working adult for a total of almost 8 years.

And then, the unforeseen happened.

My husband told me excitedly last Friday that there’ll be a rombongan cik kiah to visit me in Tokyo. Instead of having just him, my baby and my Mak, I’m also to prepare for my younger brother and two aunts, Mak Ram and Mak Su, coming. That sounded great, of course.

But it also means that I have to re-assess my budget. And a change in plan.

And so I told the sempai that I was having second thoughts about buying everything. Previously he had told me that he had other prospective buyer if I did not want to buy his things, so I asked him to detail out the price for each stuff, so that I can select and choose what I really wanted and let him sell the rest to someone else. I could no longer afford paying 27,000 yen for everything, so I thought of re-prioritizing, buying essential stuff first, perhaps up to 20,000 yen and postpone buying other things until later.

I certainly did not expect a harsh reply.

Instead of calmly and transparently letting me know the estimate price for each item, what I got instead was a reprimand, being told off for not keeping true to promises made, labeled as someone who “menyusahkan orang” and he even said that he would rather give away all his stuff for free than dealing with someone like me. It’s a matter of his pride, or so he said.

I was stunned.

I thought about what he said – tried not to be hurt by the harsh words he used – and when I failed to get him on the phone, I wrote an email, stated my request once again in a more rational argument. Reminded him, how initially I never made a big fuss when we came to a price more to his liking than mine because I did not think that I would have a budget constraint. Told him how sincere I’d been all along, since I’d already made the arrangement to get the house key even before I sign any agreement, and how I’ve arranged for a lorry to transfer the stuff. In fact, I even told him that if he wanted to sell the things I might decide I do not need, I wouldn’t mind sending that stuff to the second hand shop available in the vicinity.

So, I asked him to reconsider, to find a solution that’s workable and a win-win situation for both of us. We both know that he won’t be getting as much if he choose to sell his things to the second-hand shop, and I have to pay more to buy brand new stuff. I was hoping that he would agree to meet me halfway

No, he was adamant. Either I take all or nothing. If I don’t want to take them, he wouldn’t mind taking all those things back home to Malaysia or even giving them away free to others.

I was flabbergasted.

So, just like every other time I found difficulty in making up my mind, I consulted my husband.

After explaining everything to him, I asked him whether or not I should take the offer and pay 27,000 yen for things some friends said are not worth that much anyway.

Hubby’s answer was short and simple – “Tak payah”

“But we have to pay a lot more to buy brand new stuff,” I told hubby.

“I would rather we pay more for brand new stuff and cut our expenses elsewhere than dealing with someone who could not show any compassion”

And thus, I conveyed the message to the sempai through instant messenger, dreading more awful statements. He took it well enough though, saying that he just wanted confirmation whether or not I wanted to go on with the deal earlier decided. I said no, the deal was off. I said sorry a few times though as I could not help feeling awful about how things ended. Yes, the way he hurled words like “tak pegang janji”, “menyusahkan orang” and how he said that he would rather give things away for free, and would rather bring things back to Malaysia (where of course, there is no use for such things as heater and hot carpet) rather than dealing with me – hurt. Still, I wished things could end up differently.

But then again, sometimes things just don’t workout the way we want them to be
Sometimes the unforeseen could happen.
And when it happens, earlier plans sometimes need adjustments.
Some changes are inevitable.
But some people are just too obstinately fixed with their own so-called ‘principle’, making it difficult as well for others to make adjustments.